Two nights ago, I had the strangest dream. I woke up and thought, where the heck did that come from?!?!

The Ex was in my dream. But that's not what's strange. In the dream, it appears that The Ex and I were together and we were planning our wedding. There are two things that are so off about the whole thing. First, The Ex is already married so that's a dead issue. But what's even weirder is that in all those years that The Ex and I were together (give or take 9 years), NOT ONCE did I ever have a dream even remotely close to the one I had two nights ago. I never had a dream where we were planning a wedding. Or actually getting wed. Nada. Not even close. And this latest dream is so detailed and everything appears so vivid to me even now. It's not even one of those dreams where you're not sure who the people with you are. I have plenty of those blurred dreams. But this wasn't one of them. It was me, it was The Ex. Our friends, his family, my family. I can even remember some of the dialogue in the dream.

HOW WEIRD IS THAT?!!?!

Tags: dream
Current Location: home

I hate that I'm addicted to Facebook. I'm trying to recall now who invited me to join FB. WHY?!?!?!

I'm logged on most of the day. Most of the time, I'm just idle there. But every few hours, I would refresh my page and find new pages of friends updating their status or posting results of quizzes they took. I'm telling you, those quizzes are addicting. Now I don't take all of them. I mean, why would you take a quiz to find out "how beautiful are you" or "are you sexy or beautiful"? I didn't invent those. Those are actual quizzes on FB. Someone invited me to take them. Seriously.

I like the quizzes about movies. Those are the ones that I usually spend a few minutes to take. I don't like the quizzes on relationships. Who wants to hear how in love you are with someone from a quiz? Today I took a quiz that I saw my cousin A took. Anung ice cream flavor ka (what ice cream flavor are you). Since I love, love, love ice cream, I thought it would be fun to find out. I was double dutch. Something about being content and always ready to make people happy. I don't really believe double dutch has anything to do with me or my contentment, but it's all funny to me. The quiz results come complete with explanations sometimes. Self-analysis online. Hats off to the people who take the time to do these quizzes for our amusement.

The main reason why I'm always logged on to FB is because I've started playing games. It's my sister's fault. She got me started on all of the games I'm addicted to right now. First, she invited me to Fashion Wars. I really don't know how to play these games. But I've bookmarked all those that she's invited me to and check on them at least once a day. Then she invited me to Geo Challenge, which is my favorite FB game so far. To my defense, it's an educational game. Being a huge fan of travel, this game is really something I enjoy. I've gotten to that level where I'm a Travel Writer, which is my dream job, so I've stopped playing. Then I got into Restaurant City, Farm Town and YoVille. Now I have to check every few hours to make sure that all's well with my people in Facebook land.

One day, I will have to detach myself from these games. There has to be something unhealthy about all these. But for now, I will have to end this post to check on my restaurant employees and make sure they're not too tired or hungry.

Tags: addiction, facebook
Current Location: home
Current Mood: okay

After weeks and weeks of crazy, headache-inducing Manila heat, it finally rained. And may I just say, thank God!

And it was no wimpy rainshower. It was pouring. There was thunder and lightning... the works! I loved it! Was that weird?

It's been an hour since the rain stopped but the air is still cool.

I hope it's still cool when I wake up tomorrow.

Tags: rain
Current Location: home
Current Mood: thankful

This day, in 1452, one of the greatest artists who ever lived, Leonardo da Vinci, was born.
This day, in 1865, Abraham Lincoln died after being shot by John Wilkes Booth the day before.
This day, in 1912, the Titanic sank and took with it 1500 lives.

This day, fourteen years ago, I began a relationship with a person I loved for most of my adult life. And while it ended almost a decade later, that relationship is, by far, the most significant I've had. And while The Ex and I can only be friends now (because he's married), he's still the man I practically grew up with and for a long time was the only man in my life. So please allow me to be a little sad on what used to be an important day in my life.

Tags: anniversary, the ex
Current Location: home
Current Mood: melancholy

I love Easter. It brings so much hope. Hope that after death comes resurrection, after trials come joy and happiness. It brings out the optimist in me. True, there are times when there's not a lot in our world to be optimistic about. But if we dwell on our grief and sadness, on our pain and despair, I think our hearts would just break. I think we should always try to see the silver lining even if we have to squint our eyes to see because the line has become so thin.

Always hope. It will carry us through anything and everything.

Happy Easter everyone!

Tags: easter, hope
Current Location: home
Current Mood: hopeful

I find it fascinating when I hear of a couple having just one theme song even after years of being together. I always thought that relationships were too multi-faceted to be defined by just one song. Besides, the relationship is supposed to grow so you can't stick to "It Might Be You" forever. Why am I rambling on about this? The Ex and I never had a theme song. (Was that a sign that we wouldn't have any use for one anyway?) The closest (and it's not even remotely close to a theme some) we had was a song that I liked and he probably eventually liked. What Matters Most by Kenny Rankin. He even gave me a Kenny Rankin tape. Yes, a cassette tape. How old am I?!?!? Anyway... that song reminds me of us.

Well, I heard the song today. And I was startled when I felt a lump in my throat while listening to it. Imagine how stunned I was when tears started to fill my eyes. What was that about?!

I don't have unfinished business with The Ex. Believe me when I say that we cannot afford to have any considering the way fate has dealt us our cards. So what's with the tears? Well, that song's really, really sad. You know me, sucker for everything sad and heartbreaking. I think it was just a general sadness over that entire episode of my life. That's all done and over with. I've never looked back. But that doesn't mean I can't be sad about how that whole phase of my life played out. Because I was really, really sad for a very long time after that ended. So I think it's okay to look back and still be a little sad. Just a little.

Okay. That's over.

Tags: relationship, songs
Current Location: home
Current Mood: okay

I hope everyone's fasting today. These are hard times we live in. We need all the help we can get and fasting is small compared to all the stuff we pray for.

Let's all be good and remember the huge sacrifice we are commemorating today.

Tags: holy week
Current Location: home
Current Mood: pensive

You know how when you were a kid just learning how to talk, you would say words much like how you would  hear them? For years, I couldn't understand why they called this day "Monday" Thursday. Was it merging the two days into one? Something written in the Bible perhaps that told of something significant that happened during these two days that they had to be united into one? When I started reading, it got even worse. Every year, the Holy Week schedule would be posted in church and I would think to myself, "who writes this schedule? Who mis-spells Monday?" Even as a kid, I was critical. But I never asked anyone about it. All those years I just assumed that whoever was doing that calendar was a lousy speller.

I was maybe 10 or 11 when I learned that it was in fact Maundy Thursday. I was told maundy meant holy. It's English, as in UK English. So why couldn't they just say Holy Thursday? Why trouble people with this difficult word when they could have used something simpler and easier to understand?

Can you tell that I was impertinent as a child?

So I went to Mass today and the priest reenacted the washing of the feet that Jesus did to his disciples. I remember when I was younger and still living somewhere south of Metro Manila, our parish priest would even kiss the feet of the "disciples" after washing them. I thought that was the ultimate humility. Of course, he sprayed perfume on the foot before kissing it. Seriously. But perfume or no perfume, that's still somebody else's foot you're kissing. I've never seen any other priest do that.

I saw an uncle at Mass today and he asked me if we (my sisters and I) didn't have any plans. Probably to get out of town and "celebrate" Holy Week. I told him we didn't have any plans and that we were being good. Truth be told, as a family, we've never done the out-of-town thing during Holy Week. My parents thought it inappropriate to be celebrating and taking a vacation on Holy Week. We would always participate and be involved in church activities instead. Now that my parents are thousands of miles away, I still can't bring myself to do away with that tradition. My married sister, on the other hand, is going out of town with her ILs tomorrow evening. I wonder how she's feeling about that. Oh well, new family, new traditions.

I've gone to Mass and done two sets of Stations of the Cross. I'm good for today.

What about you?
 

Tags: holy week
Current Location: home
Current Mood: peaceful

This heat has me craving for something cold. No, not ice cream. Frozen yogurt. Don't get me wrong, I love ice cream. It's my comfort food of all time. I eat ice cream even when it's very cold. I have this picture that my sister took of me while we were on a tour of Lantau island in HK one cold month. I was wearing this very thick coat I bought there, which I can't wear here because it never gets cold enough. I laugh every time I see that picture. There I am all bundled up in these winter clothes and I'm standing by the beach eating ice cream. Weird, no?

Since I'm trying to lose some weight, I have to forget about ice cream for a while. The less-fat and sugar-free ice cream variations are really not options for me. I don't like them. So the next best thing is frozen yogurt.

So far, I've only tried those from three stores but I only liked two of them so those are the only ones I'm going to mention. There's a California Berry in Frontera Verde which is just 5 minutes from where I live. The store, like some other establishments in the area, is hidden inside what I think is a parking building or a car dealership so you really have to look for it. The frozen yogurt is worth looking for, I'm telling you. I had mine with strawberries and white chocolate chips. Really good. I know I should ditch the chocolates but I was craving for something sweet that time. The other one I like is Red Mango. The first time I went, I tried the plain yogurt with some almond slivers. Yummy. The second time, I had the green-tea-flavored yogurt without any toppings. I loved it. The green tea flavor was very subtle but I could taste the difference from the plain one. I had a bit of a brain freeze from finishing it so fast. I've never had anything that healthy that tasted that good.

Next time I think I'll try California Berry's original flavor without the toppings. I want to see who has the better tasting yogurt. But it's too late now. Maybe tomorrow.

Tags: frozen yogurt, ice cream
Current Location: home
Current Mood: hopeful

So the weather hasn't gotten any better. And I made the big mistake of going out today to do an errand for my Dad. Bad move. I wasn't even under the sun for very long. On the way home, I started feeling this monster of a headache building up. When I got home, I started preparing dinner and by the time I was done, the headache had spread to the most part of the back of my head. It was so bad that I had to lie down. I guess my sisters were worried about me so much so that my younger sister and my BIL decided to spend the night here with me and my nephew. I don't like getting sick and I rarely do so when I'm forced down like that, they know that something's really wrong. My sister checked my BP and it was normal so I'm guessing it was really just the heat. The moral of the story? Stay in. If you have to go out, do so in the evening where it's a bit cooler.

This heat has me dreaming about one of those trips I made to HK a few years ago. I distinctly remember walking to the doors that led out of the airport and feeling the cold air on my face. While it wasn't my first HK trip, my previous jaunts were always made during summer and sale months. This trip I made in January and it was my first HK winter. I loved the cold weather so much that I came back for it the month after. Still cold and I loved it. And as if that wasn't enough, the next month I was back again. It was already spring by then but the weather was still cooler than it is here in Manila. It's 20 degrees there now. Not very cold but still 7 degrees lower than the coolest it got in Manila today.

I really want to go.

Tags: hong kong, summer
Current Location: home
Current Mood: determined